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Books

Best Books Everyone Claims to Have Read But Hasn't

The literary classics gathering dust on your shelf

Most people fake-read their way through these; audiobooks at 1.5x speed are your secret weapon.
πŸ‘‘ #1 Pick

Ulysses by James Joyce

The book everyone owns but nobody finishes

All 5 recommendations

Est. prices as of Feb 28, 2026

#1 Β· Penguin Classics Β· Most Overhyped

Ulysses by James Joyce

$18

The book everyone owns but nobody finishes

  • βœ“ Genuinely revolutionary modernist technique
  • βœ“ Makes you sound intellectual at dinner parties
  • βœ“ Penguin edition has helpful annotations
  • βœ— 700+ pages of stream-of-consciousness that requires a PhD to parse
  • βœ— Most readers abandon ship by page 100
#2 Β· Bantam Β· Hidden Gem

A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking

$18

The science book you bought to look smart

  • βœ“ Actually quite accessible despite the subject matter
  • βœ“ Short enough to actually finish
  • βœ“ Genuinely mind-bending concepts explained well
  • βœ— Physics still requires serious brain effort
  • βœ— Many buy it purely as a coffee table decoration
#3 Β· Dover Classics

Moby Dick by Herman Melville

$12

The whale you'll never chase all the way through

  • βœ“ Surprisingly gripping once you get past the whaling chapters
  • βœ“ Incredibly cheap in Dover edition
  • βœ“ Actual literary masterpiece worth the effort
  • βœ— 50+ pages dedicated to whale anatomy will test your patience
  • βœ— 19th-century prose takes effort to decode
#4 Β· Little, Brown Β· Crowd Favorite

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace

$20

The 1,000-page flex that nobody actually finishes

  • βœ“ Genuinely brilliant and darkly hilarious
  • βœ“ The endnotes are part of the experience
  • βœ“ Smaller font edition fits in a bag for public reading
  • βœ— 1,079 pages plus extensive footnotes
  • βœ— Demands serious commitment; most quit by page 200
#5 Β· Penguin Classics

Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

$16

The original unfinished-reader's book since 1605

  • βœ“ Actually hilarious and frequently absurd
  • βœ“ Shorter than you'd expect (relative to reputation)
  • βœ“ Foundational to Western literature for real reasons
  • βœ— Multiple translations of varying readability exist
  • βœ— First 100 pages drag before the story kicks in