All 5 recommendations
Est. prices as of Mar 10, 2026
#1 · Netscape/ECMA · Crowd Favorite
JavaScript
Free
The language everyone uses and nobody respects
- ✓ Universally deployed, impossible to avoid arguing about
- ✓ Endless ecosystem drama (React vs Vue vs Svelte)
- ✓ Type system debates rage across all platforms
- ✗ So many people argue about it that fresh takes are impossible
#2 · Mozilla · Most Overhyped
Rust
Free
For people who want to argue AND feel morally superior
- ✓ Borrow checker creates inherent superiority complex
- ✓ Evangelists will debate you in 47 different Slack channels
- ✓ Memory safety discussions trigger every ecosystem
- ✗ Arguments become too technical, people just leave frustrated
#3 · Guido van Rossum · Best Value
Python
Free
Deceptively simple, remarkably divisive
- ✓ Whitespace debates never get old
- ✓ 2 vs 3 arguments still alive after 15 years
- ✓ Type hints created a whole new argument layer
- ✗ Too many people actually use it for real work, dilutes drama
#4 · Google
Go
Free
Hated for being too simple, loved by rebels
- ✓ Minimal design choices make people invent drama
- ✓ No generics argument finally resolved, but people still mad
- ✓ Gophers vs other communities is perpetually tense
- ✗ Generally decent language, hard to argue against directly
#5 · Rasmus Lerdorf · Hidden Gem
PHP
Free
The legacy language that refuses to die, and Reddit hates it
- ✓ Universally mocked, yet powers 77% of websites
- ✓ New features trigger 'it's still bad' discourse
- ✓ Hipsters defending it ironically is peak entertainment
- ✗ Some people actually use modern PHP seriously, which breaks the bit